smile for s.

thanks to people who cheer me up, i realise so many of them actually are supportive. thanks. im back with my LIFE. not fully yet. but still, i won't be really writing for a long prior. im currently busy with my stuff. i found some hot chicks. ah. fuck off. done. bye!



she sent me sms - "you don't need to wait for me anymore, i don't think im ready for a relationship. sorry...".

i replied her msg, " you don't need to tell me when i can see it through your eyes.."

yes, sadness fills towards me. like i said, those dull days has come back to me.
im not gonna post anymore entry after this, tired of everything and everything has change alot.
i won't be writing here anymore or my xanga. sorry. breakdown time has come.
i need peaceful joyment. so give me the chance, and to naz, i'm sorry, i don't think i'll be likely going to your open house or anyone open house. sorry.

yes, running from everyone. i suppose.

seeyou in future, many years in time. life breathe so easy like what you said.

thank you for reading and have fun in life!

xa. afnan.
nah, hooi ling left. she won't be working at fila nemore. *sobbbbbb* saddest moment. wont see my crazy workmate anymore. she'll be working at midval. ah. i have to travel there to see her. hmm.
well, i have followed the korean style of hitting people. tolak kepala. hahaa. and im doing it like korean style whenever my lil cousin is doing something craply stopid. hehe.. i'll be back working on wed which taken from my offday instead of hooi ling left. so no more hooi ling. i don't really like khairil, yet phang n jonathan. i'll only have geoffrey as my buat bodo lawak fren. fuck. no one to talk to. sadnessss fills me. those dull days will arrive soon and i'll be like a maggots in the jungle with face like fucker. haha. enouugh.

full stop about work.

well, wisdom of the day that i used to put into my blog is like giving me such a warm thought.
i feel more secure whenever i watch sad story about love. yet, love make people do crazy stuff.
yes, i did it once when i had my lovey time but now. no lah. i think i wanna stay single instead of liking her may be more hurtful for me, for her to forget him. i can't keep it inside and move on like that, after i broke up with dian last time, i took 8 months to forget her. yes completely forget her now. someone appeared and someone has been erased. securing myself, is not the answer or the end of the problem, it shouldn't be this way turn. i had finally wanted to be free,
sometimes feeling like my life is like a doll to be play off, i wanna run away. yes. i really do, to forget each memory that i had not want to keep and want it be erased in a easier way out. i wrote lyrics to tell what's my heart really feels for real, i don't want to keep it like for so long.
those memory will be erase soon. please someone help me. kill me in time, yes do it or die.

here the newest lyrics/poem i wrote.


when there's a sorrow,
you came towards me,
holding me like you never did,
you finally caught me in time

and when this relationship getting out of control,
i hope we can stay out,
forget each memory we had,
to be close or never to be

this love keep me going,
you came,
you thought i have forget our love,
i will never do so,

our love is so strong til
my heart beat keep falling faster

your smile means alot to me,
but there's someone who you love more,
so i hope we can stay out forever,
forget each memory we had,
to be close or never to be.

all copyright are so reserved under zainal afnan.blogspot.com


The Excorism Of Emily Rose

I watched the movie, with my cousin. from my friend's review, they said, it wasn't all that scary and it is true, actually very sedih sad rasuk story. and i strongly believe no matter what religion you are, Demons/Satan are always there. we are not Living alone. and yeap, it's neither u believe it nor not, maybe it is. over all, the movie was 9 out of 10. nice shot!.

i actually tak suka when people tak bagitahu you fully story. yeah. whatever shitty lah.
well, yesterday, during break, lepak-ed with so called my ex bf, britney. story-story. i also got to know someone- sabrina. oklah. hehe. then, finish work at 10.40pm. done.

fact about myself.
i don't know what to say.

always kena reject.

nah. i really don't know what im talking about, merepek lah. ok. im so fucking bullshit tired.



eh eh

many complaints i heardddd! hehehhe. yeahh. menambahkannnnnn sokongannn. haha
well; phang is A BIG TIME loser. hahaa


"be yourself, is all you can do..".

yes. i pretty sure abt it. nah. i dont know. confused. die is passion. i need friends. not a traitor. i need friends, not a bullshit. i need friends, not suckers.

mati kita.
kita jauh.

aku ini.
kau itu.

semua lari.
tiada tinggal.

cuma kita.
cuma kita.

i hate being single, i hate commitment. i hate people think i am gay. i hate people think i am bi.
i hate people think im sucks. i hate people think i am a completely loser. talk talk. talk abt me.

i wanna be with someone. i wanna people think im str8. i want you to save me. come.


oh' dia.

she's the one. we watched salon together. and we really had joyful. she picked the color of my new billabong slippers. and we went to starbucks. our fav. shop. bought rasp. and she bought rhumba.
and i walked her to the taxi stand. the best part is when she said, " i had fun, you know..?".

ah. cair. :]

raya / lepaked

yes, raya was like wow. lease cousins more uncles. haha. yes. this year not so meriah like last last what so ever year. but still. erm. first day raya was ok-lah. went to bapak grave. i miss him. and we did that after solat aidilfitri at masjid negeri. yeah. and for the visiting part. yea, quite fun la..
uncle alamin drove the car, aunty ina sit infront. me , ajam, nisha and wani duduk belakang lah.
the best part is, kereta tak cukup seat for meme ( amir) so fine. he drove his scooter. hehe. so cool.
and we pi to the 1st hse. get rm5. then go to tiga dara hse, dapat 15. wohoo. then go to pak akbar hse. got 4 bucks. den makcik hse, got 10 bucks. then go to auntie bun hse, dpt rm5. hehe.
yuhuu. den i penat nak mampus. i balik i just tido. hehe. with my baju melayu. ehhe until 10pm woke up and mandi and watch tv. ehhe.

2nd day raya, cheeka n zetty and alif arrived. yeah. ehhe pi smayang jumaat. abg pissed me off.
fine. then went to makan tau fo fah. haha. ok la. eheh. then after than around 4 something kakak n wani n zetty had to went somewhere,(tesco) to buy things for steamboat.
ehhe lol. ok. also that time, we ( me,cheeka,meme,nisha,ajam n alief) went to beraya. first hse, was mami hse- azrul granny. so went there. get 10 bucks. then we went to auntie fadzilah hse, azrul followed. mulut tak insurans siot budak tu. ehhee. bak kata meme lah. den fine. i n cheeka also help her to basuh gelas n pinggan kesian gile like no one is cleaning the hse. ehhe. good deed. then went to this hse, tak igt sapanya umah lah. the most funniest moment ever. hehee. lawak nak mampus. nisha was like hahhahahahhaha. best gile, as if i could cerita panjang2. malas lah nak tulis.
ehhee then the third day raya went to sg petani to see tok su, kesian dia, kaki kena potong, the left one, kesian gile mcm iklan petronas gitu. ehhe. :) best jumpa dia. ehehhehee. oh i miss.
then bertolak to kl, singgah tapah n belah and arrived at 1 am. ehehe. okok. then online lah.

today, i lepak with them-my crazt. kat uptown first then gerak-ed to nasi kandar penang, ahha. lepaked until 2 am. siot. aisyah couldnt masuk to her hse until 2.30 her sis bukak pintu. hahaha.
kesian. then abang call me, ah, i said kat petronas ttdi tgh jalan nak balik la so he decide to amik me n frens. yeah send danny kat bu 3. then, aiman bu4. then the most fuck moemnt.
abang ask haziq, either i smoke or not, he was like,.. "ah, entah, ye kot, nta. ntahhhh" i was like give him a big middle finger . padan muka. ahhahaha. lol. then he said "ntah, tak kot." but abang offer me a cig. fuyck. noppee. kantoi big time. fuk fuckk. hehe. oklah. then went home. chatting with her. and still. :))))

p/s: yuppy. <3