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Showing posts from November, 2008

Left, Im sleeping now.

Im going to bed now. and Im sick, fyi, I dont have crdt. So, i cant reply any sms. So sorry. Im sick. real sick. Goin to be away for awhile. C ya.

xo.

Sleepy & Love Wink

Im sleepy, the leftover from yesterday was all eaten by my mom n my lil bro. So i don't have to eat it. Lucky, am i right? but it was a good dinner yesterday, imean on friday night. im sleepy, i need to sleep after this. I will become a zombie sooner or later if i dont sleep, my eyes will makes you wanna run away from me. haha. Let's say now, im better, a whole new perspective and new me. That's it. Im happy with everyone around me and her, who caught my attention. Every minute of life, you gotta cherish it, don't waste it. You will regret when you turn 50's and starts blabbing to your kids and grandchildren that you didn't do much when you were younger. So, do something useful and makes you happy, okay people? :)

Im kinda understand the whole agenda of life again, if we just sit, wait and not taking any chances or risk, we'll regret one day. At least, every love worth a sacrifice to be. Jump from your seat and start making changes and difference in your own…

Bayang

Saya hilang bayang diri saya.
Saya terus lenyap dari diri saya.
Dan akan hanyut dalam gelap
Semoga awak temu bahagia.

:)

Rejection

Sometimes, when I was in a train to some place, this topic always came up in my mind. Somehow, I couldn’t get the right and great answer of it. How does it feel to be rejected and to reject someone? How you handle rejection? Obviously, I’m one of the guys who always get rejections. I don’t mind saying it out loudly because that’s the fact I’m living in. we couldn’t hide the rejection, it’s always plays in our mind, isn’t? I used to reject two persons. Only two, because I didn’t like both of them personally. They appeared boring and I know if they couple with me, they would just want to show off to their friends that they got a guy that has look(I can’t deny the fact that I have looks!), and so on. I totally gave my best answer and politely rejected them, in words – ‘I’m sorry, I can’t be your boyfriend, it’s not about you, it’s about me, practically you came at the wrong time, I just broke up with my girlfriend, and you want me now? I’m sorry, that’s not gonna happen in future, but he…

Separuh

Entah. Tetiba rasa begini.
Tak tahu mengapa terjadi.
Rasa hati tiba-tiba mahu lari.
Tapi tak tahu nak ke mana lagi.

Semua tempat pernah dilalui,
dengan pelbagai kerenah dilihati,
menjadi diri semakin separuh mati,
dan separuh hilang.

Entah. Tetiba rasa begitu.
Bagai mahu melepaskan semua.
Entah. Tetiba kenapa rasa benci.
Rasa marah. Rasa Kecewa. Rasa menyampah.
Semua pun ada dan datang kembali.

Aku. Aku. Aku.
Separuh gila,
Separuh hilang,
Separuh mati
kerana keberadaanmu yang
tak bisa untuk aku bersama dengan.

Jauh, Jauh dan Jauh.
Ruang untuk kita berbicara,
Seolah-olah tiada langsung,
Mengapa ini terjadi,
Mengapa membisu,
Mengapa begini.

Aku entah.
Aku tak tahu.
Apakah gelora dihatimu.
Aku seperti orang bodoh.
Seperti orang kebodohan.

Aku...
Kadang-kala mahu melepaskan...
kerana aku tak mampu bertahan...
Atau membiarkan kamu pergi sahaja...
Mungkin itu yang terbaik, bukan?

Half Dead?

Just now, i had a minor heart problem and breathing problem. I think my old disease is coming back now. I know i should have start to stop smoking, the problem is, i can't and i don't know how. it is hard, you know.. i tried before, i couldn't and now i really need to stop. Put me in a rehab or something. Im scared that things will get worse. Honestly, after 15 years, it starts to come back.

Im scared. Im scared that i don't have enough time.
Its very painful. If you could ever imagine it. All in my mind just now was, 'Oh my god, don't let me be in the hospital. I don't want to die yet.'

Im scared!

Someone save me, please!

Penat

entah kenapa rasa diri begitu lelah
lelah dengan apa?
kerja? dia? rumah?
entah,
bila fikirkan rasa penat

lelah begini
lelah sangat lelah
nak tido susah,
nak makan susah,
nak mandi pun susah

tapi
saya rindu dia
saya sangat rindukan dia
dia si bulan yang menemani saya
saya rindu sangat-sangat kat dia,
oh cahaya,
sampaikan rindu ini padanya, ok?

Rindu dan penat hari ini,
walaupun tetiba tiada balasan sms dari dia.
Tak apalah, mungkin si dia sibuk,
Ya, saya cuba memahami.
dan telah memahami.

:)

RINDU.

xx

Bahagia

Aku bahagia
Aku bahagia dengan kamu
Aku bahagia dengan dirimu
Aku bahagia jika kamu bersama aku

Aku sendiri berbeza
Aku sendiri berlainan
Aku lebih yakin
Aku lebih tenang

Mungkin kamu yang terhasil
Mungkin kamu yang membahagiakan
Mungkin kamu yang berada
Mungkin kamu yang merindui

Benar, kamu yang hasil sayangku
Kamu yang bahagiakan jiwaku
Kamu yang berada disampingku
Kamu yang aku rindui

Tiba masa,
kita akan bersama
aku kan bersabar
menanti hari itu

I love weddings!

Image
Yes, the wedding season is back, everyone include my relatives is having weddings. More wedding to attend soon. Just now, i went to aunt Siti and uncle Yusoff's son wedding, Fadil & Zaffan at Dewan Perdana Felda. I was amazed, what a beautiful wedding in my heart. I'm so jealous to see everyone is fuss about getting married, not my friends but my relatives. My cousin's Zetty is getting married on 13 Dec, reception on 14 Dec. Aunt's Ipah son, Nazmir is getting married next week, Dahlia is getting engage soon. Oh my, people getting older and marriage is on the road yeah? I, suddenly, think of what kind of wedding my wedding would be. I plan to make it as simple as it can.

Venue: Mandarin Oriental Hotel, KL.
For: Nikah. No reception. No sanding2.
Invitation: Everyone i know!
Food & Drinks: Malay tradition food.
Table arrangement: Yes.
Pax: 500 people.
Flower girls: No. change to Flower boys.
Clothes: My bride must wear a beautiful white gown. Me, a full set tuxedo. and a …

Bisakah?

Daku Terasa Ingin Membawa
Cinta Yang Terlara Ke Titik Mula
Kembali Mencuba Untuk Kali Kedua
Menggilapkan Gerhana JiwaPernah Ku Terasa Ingin Merayu
Pada Kasih Dulu Pulang Padaku
Lupakan Dosaku Putihkan Kelabu
Tenangkan Amarahmu
Namun…

Bisakah Yang Terpadam Dinyala
Bisakah Yang Terhina Dicinta
Walau Ku Himpunkan Sesalku
Bisakah Terbuka KalbuNaluri Meminta Kuungkap Kata
Seindah Bahasa Janjikan Setia
Akan Bersemilah Cinta Dihatinya
Percaya Ku Semula
Namun…Bisakah Yang Benci Disayangi
Bisakah Yang Dusta Dimaafi
Walauku Himpunkan Sesalku
Bisakah Terbuka KalbuBila Senduku Berlinang Sayu
Dalam Rindu Ku TertanyaBisakah Yang Benci Disayangi
Bisakah Hatiku Difahami
Walauku Himpunkan Sesalku
Bisakah Terbuka Kalbu

Dato' Siti Nurhaliza, Bisakah.

Bernafas

Nafaslah aku,
Nafaslah kamu,
Nafaslah semua,
Nafaslah kita

Gila aku,
Gilakah?
Aku mahu senyap,
Tapi kamu,
Kamu masih berkata-kata

Seolah mimpi akan terpancar,
Yang tahu akan malap,
Yang tahu akan pergi,
Seolah mahu kembali lagi

Kalau itu pilihan kamu
Kalau ini pilihan aku
sudah berbeda bukan?
mana bisa kembali

Menyesallah kamu,
Menyesallah semua,
Angkara kata,
Tak bisa diungkap,
Sudah terungkap kelmarin

Aku dan Kamu,
Kini berbeda haluan,
Mana bisa bersama,
Kamu dan dirimu,
Mahu kini,

Aku dan diriku,
Mahu lain,
Mana bisa kembali,
Sudah terluka,
Biar terus terluka,

Aku akan terus pergi,
Dengan khayalan dan bayang wajahmu,
Bakal hari menjelang kini dan selamanya,
Bahagialah kamu,
Terasing bagiku,
Selamat tinggal sayangku.

Gelombang

Nasib ku dirundung malang
Sederas gelombang
Menghempas dipantai

Semalam aku ternoda
Dalam sinar cahaya
Dijendela

Tiada esok lagi
Gelap masa depan
Cemar hidup ini
Tiada erti

Hidup ku seperti badai
Tak henti gelora
Musnahlah segalanya
Perasaan dan harapan untuk hari esok
Tiada lagi

Oh tuhanku
Kepadamu ku pohon ampun
Doa restu....lindungi daku
Yang tidak berdaya dibumiMu ini..

Salamiah Hassan - Gelombang

*the song currently telling how am i feeling =]

take care all, will be away for awhile. BYE!

Aku Bodoh

Aku Bodoh kerana memikirkan aku bisa bersama kamu
Aku Bodoh kerana membiarkan kamu meracuni aku
Aku juga bodoh kerana tidak memberi kamu masa
Aku sendirian bodoh...

Aku kebodohan menjadi mangsa diri sendiri
Aku kebodohan memilih untuk jalani hidup begini
Aku kebodohan kerana sering terluka oleh yang lain
Aku kebodohan memiliki hati seperti ini

Bodohkah aku mahukan kamu?
Bodohkah aku meminta untuk bersama kamu?
Bodohkah jiwa ini?
Bodohkah aku mempamerkan sayang ini?

Ya, ternyata aku bodoh dalam hal sebegini.
Ya, ternyata aku amat membodohkan diri aku.
Jelas, aku tidak bijak memilih haluan baru.
Jelas, aku akan terus dibelungi kesepian.

Biarkan sahaja aku begini,
Sampai mati,
Rasai sahaja kenikmatan kamu itu,
dengan celah dendam itu

Semoga dengan kebodohan aku terjelas,
Kamu bisa ubati jiwa kamu,
Aku bodoh,
Kerana semua orang perlukan cinta,
Dan aku tergolong dalam mereka.

Pergi sahaja kamu itu,
Aku akan melupakanmu.

Ok Then.

Ok then,
letting you go.

Bye.
Hope u happy!

=)

p/s: Im tired doe esok keje lagi.

Satu

Ya,
saya bukan milik awak,
awak bukan milik saya,
tapi
kenapa kita tidak mencuba?

adakah kita takut,
untuk mengejar bahagia?
atau awak hanya melayan saya seperti yang lain?
saya mahu awak tahu yang saya amat serius,
saya tak pernah ingin kecewakan awak.

kalau awak rasa ragu,
saya tak mampu lakukan apa,
namun apakan daya,
kata orang,
masa menentukan,
sampai bila?
sampai ada orang ketiga?

saya memang begini,
mengharap yang lain,
dengan awak,
kalau awak tak mahukan perhatian,
usah layani jiwa saya,
seperti kini awak bakal menghancuri hati saya.

dan apabila mentari naik,
saya nak awak tahu,
hati dan rasa ini milik awak,
tapi kalau awak tak mahu juga,
tidak mengapa,
saya rela menunggu.

seandainya menunggu itu lama,
biarkan,
lebih baik menyendiri,
dari terus dibelungi rasa ini.

Semoga awak sedar betapa besarnya sayang saya pada awak.
Saya harap satu hari nanti awak akan menyesal kerana tak pilih saya.
Saya mahu awak ingat sampai bila-bila bahawa,
sayang saya ini akan tetap bersemadi kepada diri awak.
kerana awaklah orang perta…

Looking In

You look at me and see the boy
Who lives inside the golden world
But don't believe
That's all there is to see
You'll never know the real me

He smiles through a thousand tears
And harbours adolescent fears
He dreams of all
That he can never be
He wades in insecurity
And hides himself inside of me

Don't say he takes it all for granted
I'm well aware of all I have
Don't think that I am disenchanted
Please understand

It seems as though I've always been

Somebody outside looking in
Well, here I am for all of them to bleed
But they can't take my heart from me
And they can't bring me to my knees
They'll never know the real me

a cover of mariah carey - looking in.

siapakah?

aku gembira dengan hadirnya,
aku gembira dengan suaranya,
aku gembira menatap gambarnya,
aku mahu terus rasa ini dalam diri,

apakah dia tahu?
apakah dia mengerti?
adakah dia mahu?
adakah dia rasa ini?

atau ini hanya gurauan?
aku keliru.
aku mahu.
dia malu.
diakah yang ku cari selama ini?

jangan teruskan begini,
nanti ada yang rugi,
kalau bebannya berat,
lepaskanlah,
bersamaku disisi.

siapakah kamu?
kamu, datanglah padaku.

If Only

I know somehow, I couldn’t get a girl. I’m tired of searching. While searching is a no-no. I don’t want to meet new people. I just want to meet old friends and current ones because I miss them more than anything. I really like this phrase, ‘Friends come and go’ yes, it is true. They come to be your friends and then they go, wherever the ways lead them to. I’m done with all that, been there before. Mostly, people come to my life and some day, they will just go. I accept the fact. I remained the fact that nobody is perfect. You’ve to know when to let go and move on. For now, I know the people who are really good and are there for me. I wish that they will stay for me forever. I know it’s a fact that people won’t stay for long, they leave. Yes, for me, people always leave. They leave me. They go, they come and they left. I’m still wondering who is the person that actually for me, and won’t leave me alone anymore. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about love or anything right now but I could…

Realized

I realized something today; I want a relationship but not a relationship of being just a scandal. I want to spend my times with her. Just be with her all day long. I don’t know, people who wants me must be able to understand me and believe, trust in me because I stay not in KL but my finishing up my youth here, Kuching. I’ll be in KL just for a month or two and then, I fly back to here. It’s bored; I know but if you, want me to be with you, please believe in long distance relationship. That’s all I want in a relationship.Kill me, if I’m too fast to forget someone but in fact, I really have to do this because it will affect my studies if I didn’t forget her now. I’m happy now. Please, make me happy, will you? Because everybody needs somebody like Keith Urban song ‘Everybody’ said. I need somebody to cheer me up and fill me in with fun and happy situation.Trust me; I won’t twist anything in a relationship. That’s all from me for now.P/S: Thanks to Kiki for awarded my blog is a must blog…

Please Don't Care

I don’t know what to write exactly. But a friend of mine suggested that I should write about people shouldn’t care what others think of our self. Why should we care? It doesn’t matter anyway. I tried doing it and I guess it works for me. This semester, I was half going to crazy because of a rumors that was being spread by a junior that now I totally ignore. It was so stupid and how could you face the public when people talks about you every day, you see people staring at you and so on. I was so embarrassed by this action of that bastard. I was under pressure because so many people came up to me and ask me the same question. I was so tired to answer to all the question and what I said was, ‘Kalau tak keluar dari mulut aku, tolong jangan percaya fitnah dan cerita-cerita bodoh tu, siapa dia nak cakap macam tu, dah la pengecut, tak nak face to face.’ That’s the word I said to all my friends. I was so happy and felt relieved that my friends in UiTM Samarahan and my best friends back at Mal…

How to Forget You

I see this word has a very deep meaning. Yes, it does. How to forget someone? Literally, you could but you just don’t know. You just wish that you could forget that person by a click, am I right? Well, to be honest, it is hard for you and for everyone to forget someone that you really care and adore all this while, to make that person disappeared from you are hard. When you are in the surrounding that in your college, work place or whenever you could see that someone face, it will make you harder to forget. I believe and I already saw and it does happen to me too. I saw it through my best friends and people close to me, it is hard, and it is a pain to forget. Believe it or not, you actually can’t, unless you have the superpower or short term memory than it will.

Forgetting someone is totally a need when you already finish or done in a relationship that you’ve been through. Yes, I believe in that too. Perhaps, you need a time like Leona Lewis song, ‘Better in Time’. It could be better i…